cant connect to speakers after WiFi update

Changing your router should be an easy procedure unless you also want to change the SSID and password. 

You could have simply chosen to use the same SSID and password on the new router. Then you would have simply needed to restart your devices to get a new ip address. The other way would be to use the up to update the network for all your Sonos speakers.

Since you have reset all devices, there are some things that you can do:

1. Make sure you have the latest updates on the all as well as the firmware in the speakers.
2. Make sure your phone and Sonos speakers are on the same network. If you have the 2.5 and 5 gig radios separated, this is especially important
3. Go to settings> Sonos and make sure Local Network is selected. 
4. Hardwire a main speaker to your network. Not a surround or sub.

I agree, changing a router should be simple but my products do not support  the update network feature and require a factory reset

https://support.sonos.com/en-ca/article/connect-sonos-to-a-new-router-or-wi-fi-network

I feel like it is ridiculous I had to do that but at any rate, I did and it worked.

  This issue now is that my phone can't find any products anymore.  The speakers are playing music right now, but I can't connect from my app.  It works from my wife's phone but not mine. 

I have deleted all app data on my phone and reinstalled and still now l no luck.

Since every network can be different, are you using an aftermarket router, mesh or ISP router/modem combo?

What Sonos speakers do you have? Some of the older speakers my need to be hardwired for now, but you may only need to have a single speaker connected to your network to re-gain access to them.

Hey, 

I have resolved the issue.  I did a factory reset again on all the speakers and re set them up.  Not the greatest solution but I haven't had any connection issues since then.