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mansolil
Contributor I
October 5, 2021

Beam marketing email grammar/misspellings?

  • October 5, 2021
  • 25 replies
  • 289 views

C’mon Sonos - you can do better than this:

“Smarter on the inside and more beautiful on the outisde for exceptional sound all around.” (one sentence to describe the beam and wow, it’s a doozy)

“Jonatan” (no way is that someone’s real name

I’m not a grammar police type person, but geez, I expect better from a company I’m so invested in.  Let me know if you need someone to proof your stuff - I’d be happy to help.  :)

 

 

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    25 replies

    John B
    October 5, 2021

    C’mon Sonos - you can do better than this:

    “Smarter on the inside and more beautiful on the outisde for exceptional sound all around.” (one sentence to describe the beam and wow, it’s a doozy)

    “Jonatan” (no way is that someone’s real name

    I’m not a grammar police type person, but geez, I expect better from a company I’m so invested in.  Let me know if you need someone to proof your stuff - I’d be happy to help.  :)

     

     

    But you failed to close the bracket in your own post. What a shame...

      John B
      October 5, 2021

      Anyone can make a mistake. My impression is that Sonos don't make many such mistakes. Although it's possible that I just didn't notice them.

      It does create a poor impression though, which can colour people's view of a company and its products. 

      nik9669a
      Senior Virtuoso
      October 5, 2021

      It does create a poor impression though, which can colour people's view of a company and its products. 

      No mistakes here though: even “colour” is spelt correctly! 😜

        mansolilAuthor
        Contributor I
        October 5, 2021

        Haha - there’s some irony in my own post considering I can’t close a parenthesis.  <sigh>
         

        However, I am also not sending this out to 10’s of 1000s of customers either.  😉

          nik9669a
          Senior Virtuoso
          October 5, 2021

          Haha - there’s some irony in my own post considering I can’t close a parenthesis.  <sigh>
           

          However, I am also not sending this out to 10’s of 1000s of customers either.  😉

          If we really want to be accurate, you did miss two full stops (or “periods” as some call them) and a capitalised letter in “One sentence to…”. The first full stop should be after “it’s a doozy” and before the bracket (or “brace” as some call it), and the other after the missing parenthesis in your original post! And the “beam” is a “Beam”.   But I don’t know how many customers are reading these forums, so does it matter here?

            melvimbe
            melvimbe
            October 5, 2021

            Haha - there’s some irony in my own post considering I can’t close a parenthesis.  <sigh>
             

            However, I am also not sending this out to 10’s of 1000s of customers either.  😉

             

            How did you manage an apostrophe in “10’s” but not “1000s”?  

             

            And so far, 35 people have read your post, so you’re well on your way.

            Danny
              John B
              October 5, 2021

              Haha - there’s some irony in my own post considering I can’t close a parenthesis.  <sigh>
               

              However, I am also not sending this out to 10’s of 1000s of customers either.  😉

              That’s a fair point.  An external communication like that should be carefully peer reviewed.  The mistakes that are hardest to spot are those you make yourself.  As it happens, I make my living by writing and reviewing complex technical documentation, and by running courses in how to write and structure such material.  

              For what it’s worth, I encourage people to avoid using parenthesis of any form, as it can interrupt the flow of the main argument.  And you can forget the closing bracket…..

              And it’s OK to start a sentence with ‘And’, before anyone picks me up on that one.

                nik9669a
                Senior Virtuoso
                October 5, 2021

                You’re right, @John B: “That’s a fair point.  An external communication like that should be carefully peer reviewed.”

                 

                And my comments above are intended as tongue-in-cheek criticism. I think the sentiment and observation  in @mansolil‘s original post are perfectly valid. 

                  John B
                  October 5, 2021

                  Haha - there’s some irony in my own post considering I can’t close a parenthesis.  <sigh>
                   

                  However, I am also not sending this out to 10’s of 1000s of customers either.  😉

                   

                  How did you manage an apostrophe in “10’s” but not “1000s”?  

                   

                  And so far, 35 people have read your post, so you’re well on your way.

                  Danny, you’re right that the inconsistency is the principal problem.  The safest option, and the easiest to read, is ‘tens of thousands’.

                    John B
                    October 5, 2021

                    And my comments above are intended as tongue-in-cheek criticism. I think the sentiment and observation  in @mansolil‘s original post are perfectly valid. 

                    Absolutely.

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